do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He passed out mid-signature
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
