how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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