i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
