You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
