i just google imaged poop.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
