Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
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