There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
