i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
