Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
