Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
