she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
