i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
