I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
