I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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