Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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