take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
