We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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