dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
