you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
