he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
