For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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