Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
