You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
