y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
