she was so not down for the gang bang
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
