You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
