Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
