He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
