Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
