There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
