I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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