Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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