What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
