he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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