I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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