The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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