So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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