Kiss
Puke
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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