i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
so much tequila, so little girl.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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