Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
