READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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