We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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