quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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