We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
