I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
