im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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