I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
What a dumb baby whore.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
