Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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