2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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