I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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