i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
