the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Non-Jews are for practice
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I would fuck him just for his dog
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
